![]() If you don't drink lots of gin, how will your friends know you love them at 2am? What’s your superpower?Įducation is important. If you can’t remember my name just say ‘Gin’ - and I’ll turn around. Sometimes I have a bath because it’s difficult to drink gin in the shower. Real friends offer gin.Įxercise: Walking round the house looking for my glass of gin. You should have a warm heart and a cold gin and tonic. Gin is like a push-up bra for your personality. Happiness is finding three olives in your martini when you’re hungry. You cannot make everyone happy - you are not a bottle of gin. When it’s raining and when it isn’t raining.Ī skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a G&T – and a mop. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror. No-one wants a small gin and tonic.Ī day without gin is like … I have no idea.Ī woman goes into a bar with a roll of tarmac in her bag. My resting face is also my thinking about gin face. Why do pirates prefer rum bars to gin bars? I want someone to look at me the same way I look at gin. My doctor told me to make the healthy choice. ‘The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.’Ī gin and tonic has 91 calories. When life gives you lemons (or limes) make a gin and tonic. What do you call someone who’s never had a G&T? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a gin. Then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.’ ‘My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin. Or you could just keep scrolling (to be honest we'd probably just keep scrolling - there are some very funny ones to come).ĭon’t cry over spilt milk: it could have been gin. Now we've made your day by making you smile, you can make our day by buying some gin. The gorilla replies: ‘With prices like that, I'm not surprised.’ The bartender makes the G&T and says: ‘That'll be £20 - and I must say we don't get many gorillas in here.’ ‘I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake give me a gin and tonic.’Ī gorilla goes up to a bar and asks for a gin and tonic. Stop saying I’m hard to buy for – you know where the gin aisle is. ‘The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory it is one of the happiest marriages on earth and one of the shortest lived.’Ī true friend reaches for your hand … and puts a glass of gin in it. ![]() ‘A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.’ I tried to say no to gin - but it’s 42.5% stronger than me. I love water - especially when it’s frozen in cubes and surrounded by gin.Īn Oxford comma walks into a bar - and orders a gin, and tonic. If that's the case, just imagine what gin can do. They say gin can damage your short-term memory. I drank so much gin last night I’ve woken up with a London Dry accent. ‘I like to have a Martini, two at the very most, after three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.’ ‘I exercise strong self-control – I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.’ If, after reading them, you're in such a great mood you want to buy some of our gin please visit our online gin shop - as well as collecting gin one liners, we really do make some of the world's best gins and beautiful gin gifts. I make gin disappear - what's your superpower? Education is important but gin is importanter. Funny gin quotes, gin puns and gin jokes - all the best ones are here.
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